A Precarious Balance
by Dr Spleenmeister
Summary: Post Journey's End, picking up where RTD left off on the beach at Dalig Ulv Stranden. The Doctor saw to it that everything balanced out, but there was one glaringly obvious element he forgot to factor into the equation: himself. 10/Rose
1. Prologue

**AN: I'm getting a bit bored of reading stories that insist the new Doctor is just a hollow version of the original, so let me make it clear now that I consider this Doctor just as real as the old one but with a few exploitable differences! Let us not weep for the loss of the original Doctor from Rose's life, let's take this new one and have some fun with him!**

**... so to speak... **

**OI! Minds out of the gutter you lot!**

_Prologue_

As she watched the police box dematerialise forever Rose felt the warning prickle of tears and she blinked, willing the heart-splitting pain to go away. She should be happy, she had the long, strong fingers of the man she had been chasing for three years entwined with hers in a world where both her parents were alive and happy. The voice of said parents could be heard behind her, the mother jabbering into her mobile, the father's tinny replies distorted through the phone's tiny speaker.

Slipping the fingers of her free hand discretely into her jacket pocket, Rose fingered the fully recharged trans-dimensional teleport; one push of a button and she could be back in the TARDIS again, back with the original Doctor where she belonged, universal consequences be damned. The squeeze of the new Doctor's fingers around hers brought her back to herself and she looked up into his human eyes that still flickered with a touch of Time, much like hers, and he shook his head slowly, knowing exactly what she was thinking. Pressing her lips into a thin line she drew her hand out of her pocket, away from temptation, and allowed him to gently lead her away from Jackie who was now deep in debate with her father over which room of the mansion they were going to allocate to the Doctor.

They walked slowly to the water's edge and stood there for a long moment, each gazing out to sea as they dwelled on their own thoughts. Rose was struggling to reconcile the face she had grown to love after his first change in front of her, with the fire that burned in his eyes, the fire that had charred the eyes of her first Doctor. That Doctor had been a furious being, fresh from the Time War he wore a thin veneer of civility over the rage and madness he had managed to conceal from most but not from her, she had always been able to see straight through his guard and bluster to the wounded, heart-broken, terrified man within. He likewise had never been able to lie to her, he had always been honest even in his anger and hatred and she knew that if he loved her for nothing else he loved her for staying with him through the emotional torment he relived on an almost daily basis. This new Doctor had all of that war-borne intensity within him but as he turned towards her now the intensity was carefully banked in favour of the raw, unguarded emotion she had always wanted to see on this face. She had hoped, felt, known that her Doctor had loved her the way she had come to love him but he had never allowed her to see more than the glow of deep affection in his eyes, even he was unable to hold that part of himself back from her, and now he was standing before her with everything clearly on his face for her to see. His eyes glimmered wetly as he read the lingering doubt in her eyes and his hand came up to cup her cheek; he whispered,

"I'm broken, Rose Tyler. Will you fix me?"

-&-

Standing side by side at the water's edge , tightly clasping the hand of the woman he had long ago fallen arse over tit for, the Doctor gave her time to sort through her thoughts; he himself had plenty to think about, starting with his hand. It was the same hand that had held hers for 2 years of her life but it was clutching hers now tighter than in recent memories. He was holding it as tightly as he had when he had first met her as the war-rattled, shell-shocked Time Lord who had sworn to never become attached to another living being lest they were ripped from his heart as his whole life had been. Meeting Rose Tyler and feeling the incredible charge that had had shocked through his whole unshockable body at the simple touch of her hand to his had dispelled that notion of solitude and bound him to her forever. His jug eared incarnation had been so terrified of losing her that he had taken her hand tightly, possessively keeping her close and not letting go, even when he sacrificed himself to save her life.

Flexing, testing and reaching out with his new, diluted Time senses, his heart throbbed with an abrupt burst of adrenaline and he fought not to communicate what he had felt to Rose whose hand was still entwined with his...

This universe's Rose Tyler was dead.

It's Doctor wasn't.


	2. Settling in

**AN: Sorry, my bad on the last chapter; I forgot that Rose was the name of Jackie's dog in the alternate universe! For the sake of arguments then let's flex a little artistic license and ignore Doc's gaping plot hole!**

**A poiser is a watch making tool, a rather apt device for the Doctor wouldn't you say?**

CHAPTER 1

Precariously balancing two full mugs of tea and a plate of sandwiches - a task much better suited to three hands, not two - Rose descended gingerly down the solid concrete steps into the mansion's extensive cellar. The Doctor had moved in with the Tyler family once they had returned from Norway, accepting the generous suite offered to him by Jackie and Pete and integrating as a human into Earth society. Despite his best efforts the Doctor had simply too much curiosity to completely integrate and three days behind a desk at Torchwood had all but smothered him; so, remaining true to his nature, he had set up a research laboratory in the unused Tyler basement, preferring to get his hands dirty and on his own terms.

It warmed Rose's heart to see the old doctor so fiercely obvious in this newer, human model and it was in her favourite state that she found him now: sitting cross-legged on his laboratory floor, his tatty, action-torn jeans smeared with some enzyme she didn't want to know the origin of and his newly constructed sonic poiser clenched lightly between his teeth as he peered through his prescription glasses at the device clasped in his hands. Setting down the teas and sandwiches on a rarely found clutter-free flat surface - this Doctor was just as big a slob as the last - Rose hunkered down beside him to gaze over his shoulder at the item Torchwood had sent him to identify for them.

"Figured out what it is yet?"

He didn't look away from the device's innards as he replied, "Yup." and then chucked it over his other shoulder where it clattered to the floor, much to Rose's dismay, "Ribbag food blender." He grinned up at Rose and she laughed, her hands coming up to rub his shoulders that were tense from hours hunched over the alien junk that was strewn in heaps around him. He closed his eyes and let his head roll limply as she worked absolute magic on his tired human flesh; she'd never done this for him as a full Time Lord but then he'd never sat still long enough to get stiff or tense. A deep, satisfied moan of pleasure rumbled up in his chest and he couldn't help but hear her hitch of breath at the uninhibited, unintentionally erotic sound.

Following his declaration of love for her in Norway they had silently agreed to not go madly diving into any sort of serious relationship. She knew how he felt about her now, had always known really and he knew she would still be there for him when he was finally ready to accept what that meant for them. Allowing her to kiss the very breath from his lungs that first time had sent his senses absolutely reeling; he had explained afterwards that while a normal human male 'his age' would be well used to the sensations she had awoken in him with that kiss, he had never experienced anything like it, and as he had nothing to really compare it to it had taken an hour and a half for his over-stimulated body to come down from the hormone-induced high. Two years of conditioning himself not to react to the guilty stirrings of lust - an alien concept to him back then - she caused in him was going to be difficult to overcome, especially given his hyper-sensitivity to her now, as was the massive change to his physiology. He had always been physically aware of her before the metacrisis but never like this, never with the ability and inclination to do something about it. His human body was amazing, slower to think and respond than before but more intuitive and definitely more sensitive to any and all Rose Tyler based stimulus, and the touch of her hand to his now almost set him alight.

He turned to face her from his seated position and could instantly see the confused excitement in her eyes; she wanted him too but she was yet to fully adapt to the change, she needed the time and breathing space just as much as he did. Holding her gaze and taking one of the hands that had slipped from his now gloriously loose shoulders he ran his thumb lightly over the knuckles and took an absurd amount of delight in the shiver he felt tremor through her.

They were getting reacquainted slowly - it had been three months since Dalig ulv Stranden - the changes in both their personalities since they had last met were taking some getting used to by the other but the physical side of their friendship, the hand holding and happy hugs, had remained completely unchanged and for that the Doctor was eternally grateful, it showed that some things wouldn't, _couldn't _change. Their foundation was as firm and as strong as it ever had been, everything else could just fall into place on top of it. The Doctor swallowed as the rather suggestive wording of that thought translated itself directly into his over stimulated imagination and he had to tear his gaze away from hers before he could initiate something neither of them was ready for.

Rose blinked as the spell they had unconsciously woven between them was broken. She was about to stammer an apology but it died on her lips, they had tiptoed around their feelings for each other for two years and had no need to do so any more. So she squeezed the fingers still entwined with hers and smiled warmly as he looked up guiltily to meet her eyes. Emboldened by the carefully banked heat smouldering in his dilated chocolate brown eyes, she reached out and cupped his cheek, smiling again as relief flooded his face at her acceptance and he leaned into her touch.

"Drink your tea and have your lunch; you're as bad as Mickey for getting so sucked into a project that you forget to eat all day." Planting a quick, affectionate kiss to his forehead she stood and hustled out of the cellar before he could notice the comparison to his old nemesis for her affections. She was almost clear when an affronted, "OI!" reached her ears and she laughed, returning to the main house.

-&-

Meanwhile, across the galaxy amidst the rubble of a dead world, a tall, storm-eyed humanoid cocked his head and frowned at an abrupt ripple in the timelines laid out in the void before him, beside him and behind him. Turning to his ship's console he saw that the energy collection he had come here to perform was nearly complete. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on the disturbance he had felt and let his hands drift over the vessel's controls, his fourth-dimensional mind setting the course before the third dimension could catch up.

Opening his eyes he looked at the coordinates he had set and twisted his lips into an irritated grimace.

Earth.

Again.

Hadn't that place taken enough from him? Couldn't it just leave him in peace with his grief for once? Just a millennia or two, surely? Sighing in resignation and knowing that his curious nature would not let him ignore the twinge in spacetime, he headed into the bowels of his ship; he was going to need a strong cup of tea before he went there again.


	3. Two many Doctors

CHAPTER 2

For the first time in his many, many years the Doctor was flumoxed. They had run out of tea and the Doctor, eager to stretch his legs, had volunteered to run out and get some. He had thought about asking Rose to join him but she had fallen asleep in her pajamas on the sofa in front of the Saturday morning kids TV and she had looked so adorable as she slept that he didn't have the heart to disturb her. So no here he was, standing like a confused child in front of the largest display of branded and non-branded tea he had ever seen.

He scratched his head, he had no idea which type they had at home; while he was deliberating between Typhoo and Tetley's a long, leather clad arm reached past him and snagged a box from the shelf at his eye level. Glancing in apology at the owner of the arm for getting in his way he was startled to find a familiar face beaming at him, a huge, closed mouth grin splitting his face in two. Smiling guardedly back, the Doctor struggled not to let his alarm show on his face. He had known that he would come face to face with this man eventually, he must have been so absorbed in his product choice that he hadn't sensed him sneaking up on him; either that or his Time senses had been dulled even more than he realised.

The Doctor took a subtle step away from the other man as he opened his mouth to speak, the voice that emerged heart-wrenchingly familiar,

"I like this one, reminds me of the Seventies."

A muscle in the Doctor's face twitched; the accent he remembered, the ears he remembered, what he didn't remember was the unnaturally pale skin and he was absolutely certain that he had _two_ blue eyes the last time around. Clearly this universe was not as parallel as they had thought. He forced a jovial tone into his voice as he replied,

"Oh yeah... very retro tea."

The other man stuck out his hand, "I'm the Doctor."

The Doctor suppressed a moment of panic and fished for a name to give, any name but John Smith; this version of himself would know instantly who he was - if he didn't already know.

He took the outstretched hand, "Um, David," _crap_, "David Tyler." _Double crap!_

The other man narrowed his eyes as if seeing right through the rather pathetic ruse, "Hello, David, David Tyler. What brings you here on a Saturday morning?"

The Doctor started to sweat, at the moment he had the upper hand as this other Doctor didn't yet know what his next face would look like, but he did _not_ like the edge he saw in the stormy blue eye examining him; it was tinged with Chaos and promised the sort of madness he thought he'd seen the last of when he met Rose.

But this Doctor had no Rose to save him and for a brief moment a stab of sadness pierced the sheen of panic; this Doctor would never feel the way he did about a companion, never be able to give his heart to the woman he loved. His thoughts tripped back to said woman; the surge of protectiveness that throbbed in his chest was familiar and the other, more pleasantly distracting emotion almost disrupted his train of thought; damn it, he had to learn to keep his feelings under control but it was so hard in this newer, more expressive body! Fearing for her safety he fought to keep his rising anxiety from his voice,

"I'm just getting my friend, uh, girlfriend some shopping," he plastered a painfully fake grin onto his face, hoping to cover his slip with a dazzling smile but knowing damn well what little effect it had on this incarnation, "You know women, like to lie in on a Saturday."

The taller man tilted his chin in thought, the smile beginning to slide from his face, "Oh yes, I know women alright." He gestured to the shelf they had been previously facing, "So which is your _girlfriend's_ favourite?"

Without looking - he didn't dare break the gaze of this earlier version of himself, he remembered how hot tempered he could be - he reached out and snagged a box off the shelf, "This one." He glanced down at the package he had hastily grabbed ad tried not to wince.

The other Doctor raised an eyebrow, "Decaf?"

The returning smile was sheepish, "She's trying to cut back; caffeine makes her hyper."

The other Doctor seemed to relax a touch and chuckled, "I know the feeling." He drew himself up to his full height, an impressive six feet plus, the perfect height for a soldier, "Better dash, things to do, people to save, you know the deal."

"Better than you know." The murmur clearly hadn't been as low as he'd thought as the other Doctor snapped a deeply probing gaze on him and narrowed his eyes again. Nodding slowly in thought, the younger man shook his hand again and all but marched from the convenience store.

The Doctor sagged, his breath leaving him in a whoosh as all the tension evaporated from his body. That was close, probably closer than it really should have been; he really needed to think faster, this part human mind really was as slow as he had teased all those years. Replacing the decaffeinated tea back on the shelf he picked up a large box of full strength tea and headed to the till.

Rose was going to shit herself at this.

-&-

He decided in the end not to tell Rose; she had enough on her plate as it was dealing with him, she really didn't need two broken Doctors to fix. And he needed fixing, he had been through hell in the Time War but this universe's Doctor had been through worse if the face and stiff-backed gait was anything to go by.

He didn't like reliving the War and avoided any mention of it at all costs but that night he dreamed of it with all the conscience of 900 Time Lord years compressed down into thirty Human years. When he awoke drenched in sweat and his own tears he was grateful for Rose's arms wrapped tightly around him, her lips murmuring soft nothing sounds into his bedraggled hair, his body trembling like a child in her embrace.

His lips had sought hers in the darkness of his room, needing reassurance that she was real, that the pain and terror of the War was really over. His kiss had been hard, demanding and she met him push for push, the ferocity of her protection matching his fear and they could easily have gone further, finally satisfying the pain of two years of separation with their union. But by the time she had fiercely torn the sleeping shirt from his body and his hands were splayed over her naked back common sense won out and they had gentled their kisses, the rough caresses softening to whispers of fingertips against quivering skin and they carefully redressed each other. She had tucked him back into bed and climbed in with him, curling her warm body around his, reassuring him that she was still there, that they were still together and that everything was alright. He told her then about his encounter with his younger self, and had opened a part of his soul to her, telling her about the Time War, shying away from some of the details until the gentle touch of her fingers to his shoulder or waist or hair had him opening up the floodgates and he told her everything. He cried again, body-wracking sobs that left him exhausted and as he finally fell into an exhausted, fitful slumber, she stroked his hair, continuing to whisper into his neck until she was sure he was asleep.

What he hadn't known, couldn't have known as he was back in his own nightmares, was that she then cried for him, cried for the life he had lost and resolving deep within herself that whatever she could do to help him now she would do.

No matter what the cost.


	4. Liar

**A/N A great big 'Ta much' to everyone who has reviewed so far and and even bigger 'Danke sehr' to those who keep coming back for more!**

**_:Wrings hands nervously:_**** right then, now we're getting to the point where it either all starts to come together or it all falls to bits and I have to go live under a rock for a few months... I do hope it's the former!**

CHAPTER 3

The following night saw the first real step towards the happy normality that the Doctor had imagined for Rose. Rose Tyler being Rose Tyler of course had been spitting nails in anger at what she saw as him strong-arming her into the normal life she had never wanted from him. Having vented her frustrations to her new Doctor one night he had sat her down at the kitchen table, a hand lingering on hers as he turned away to make them a pot of tea and then had sat down opposite her, took her hand again and explained the Doctor's thinking to her.

The Doctor had always known that she loved travelling with him above practically anything but he had seen too many people die either for him or in his name and he knew that if the moment ever came that she would do the same. The thought of losing her absolutely terrified him; he wouldn't, he _couldn't_ lose her like that, so the first time they had been separated into parallel universes he had lied to her, bare faced lied to her because he knew that an unspeakable darkness was coming for him and those close to him - he could feel it in every fibre of his being - and he would NOT lose her to it. So, regardless of the emotional tatters it had left them both in he had tucked her safely away in a place where she could be safe from the darkness; better to be alive and untouchable than dead and lost forever. But she hadn't been safe; with that - now _this_ - universe's Doctor MIA there had been no-one to stop the evil that knew no boundaries and so she had done exactly what she had been taught to do: she plowed through all of reality and saved the day.

The Doctor assured her at this point in his story that he had thought of her every day since the gateway had closed, constantly second guessing himself and battling to keep himself from going back for her in his selfishness, knowing full well that he couldn't keep her safe, not this time. The tears that welled in his eyes told her that he was telling the truth this time; she interlaced her fingers with his, not forgiving him - never forgiving him for that - but sharing in his pain. She met his eyes and swallowed, struggling to fight down her instinctive response to the unguarded emotions swirling dangerously in the chocolate brown depths; it still wasn't time for that, not yet, despite how desperate the moment suddenly became for them to reassure each other that they were together now and nothing short of the end of existence was going to separate them. As before they were both unwilling to taint with fear and pain what they both knew would be spectacular when it happened, so they had resisted the pull, satisfying themselves with a barely-restrained chaste kiss instead.

Taking her by the hand, the Doctor led Rose out onto the balcony of their apartment. Wrapping her up in his arms he rocked them slowly from side to side, following the rhythm of the eerie music that chimed perpetually in his mind. Closing his eyes the Doctor lost himself in the feel of Rose safe in his arms and the sound of Time.

Rose's arms tightened abruptly on his and he opened his eyes at the sound of her surprised gasp. Looking down at her he saw her gaze trained on the street below, three storeys down. Following her line of sight he saw what she was staring at, her whole body stiff against his and he swallowed, his heart skipping a beat as he met the steely gaze of this universe's Doctor. Disentangling himself from her he whispered, "Stay here," and went to the front door, unsurprised at the muttered, "Not bloody likely," behind him as she followed him out into the corridor of the old converted mill, down the stairs and out into the street below to meet the man awaiting them.

Her fingers laced tightly through his - a gesture he was fiercely grateful for, he had half expected her to throw herself into the arms of this full Time Lord, leaving him and his one heart behind - Rose stood shoulder to shoulder with him as they both took in the Doctor before them. He too was sizing them up, his one, cool, blue eye taking in their edginess and trepidation, the fact that they seemed to know him enough to be edgy at all a miracle in itself - this Doctor didn't leave any loose ends; ever. Both Doctors could see the golden strands of Time swirling in whorles about the other but they were so busy watching one another that neither of them saw Rose move towards the taller man until she was within half a foot of him. The two Doctors broke their staring match to respond to her actions; Rose's Doctor smiled tightly, still undecided as to whether his Northern counterpart was a threat, and said Northern Doctor taking a surprised half step backwards, startled by her unflinching proximity.

Rose gazed up at him. The two Doctors were the same age despite their different faces and the one standing ramrod straight before her now was so fractured that he was almost breaking her heart. This one had never met his Rose, hadn't been saved from himself, hadn't sacrificed himself to save her in return and as her gaze lingered over his damaged eye she felt her own two eyes burn with sympathy. Reaching out one tentative hand, she touched his cheek wincing as he flinched at her thumb's proximity to his eye. She swallowed nervously and letting him see in her eyes that she understood, whispered, "I'm sorry."

The parallel Doctor froze, his entire countenance screaming his unease as this simple, unfamiliar human soothed the crack in his soul with two simple words and the weight of impossible understanding in her eyes. Glancing over her head at her silent companion he was strangely unsurprised when the other man nodded his consent, as if he completely understood the taller man's confusion and unexplainable, inexplicable desperation to let this girl reach out to him. Reaching out slowly, he took a light grasp of the girl's upper arms and met her eyes again. A sad smile was playing at the corners of her mouth and he pulled her to him before the sadness could fully emerge and manifest on her beautiful face. Wrapping his arms around this strange woman he buried his face into her hair, tears he had forbidden himself to shed for more years than he cared to remember pouring from his good eye.


	5. Imperfect reset

**A/N: Hoo, it's about to get dark!**

Chapter 4 - Imperfect Reset

Bouncing impatiently on the balls of her feet Rose watched the Doctor open the TARDIS door; she had forgotten how precious this incarnation had been about keeping it locked at all times when they weren't in it. The moment the door swung open Rose barreled past the two men, not waiting for an invitation as she ran into her favourite place in all of creation. The taller Doctor shot her Doctor an amused glance as they followed her in only to find her dancing around the central console, cooing to the walls and caressing the controls before racing off into the bowels of the ship, eager to discover how this TARDIS was the same as the old one. the TARDIS for her part hummed happily, pleased to have another Time Lord on board regardless of how diluted his Gallifreyan blood may be.

Rose's Doctor stopped at the same console that Rose had just vacated, placed his hand gently on the warm metal and murmured softly to the ship in Gallifreyan, to which the ship hummed happily again, the lights in the central column flickering in recognition. He turned to address this TARDIS' owner and smiled sadly, seeing his own emotions reflected on the other man's face; his taller self stood leaning on one of the coral struts for support, his eyes closed and his legs shaking in shock. Up until this point he had been sceptical of the two strangers and their story, despite the time traces on them and the screaming of his instincts to gather them both close and never let go. Hearing his mother tongue flow smoothly from the lips of the shaggy haired man made it all true; he was no longer alone in the universe, he had himself for company.

Pulling himself together and sucking in a shaky breath, he straightened and asked, "So, where to?"

The other Doctor answered without an instant's hesitation, an odd look in his eye as he replied quietly, "Felspoon."

Before the Doctor could question the other man's choice Rose re-entered the room, a dazed expression wiping her face blank as she went to her Doctor's side and laced her fingers tightly through his, murmuring incredulously, "There's an armoury."

One Doctor stiffened with shock while the other remained unmoved, confused by their reaction. Looking down at the stunned Rose by his side, the Doctor closed his eyes for a second, controlling his rage at the other man for the sake of the woman clutching his hand. He remembered the armoury; during the Time War it had been stocked from wall to wall and ceiling to floor with every weapon imaginable from over ten thousand worlds. He had gotten rid of the blood-stained room immediately after the War, horrified at what it represented and terrified of the what he could become should he choose to keep it and wreak out the terrible Vengeance he lusted for on the universe.

Opening his eyes again he fixed his one eyed counterpart with a dangerous glare, "Why did you keep it?"

The other Doctor was quick to defend himself as if suddenly realising that he'd done something wrong, "The Time War-"

"Was over a long time ago," Rose's Doctor interrupted, "Why did you keep it?"

"The dangers-"

"Are not so dangerous as to warrant and entire TARDIS armoury. Why did you keep it?"

"I'm on my own now; the things I've seen-"

"I've seen them too!" The Doctor felt his anger sliding away from his control and just as his Sire had predicted he went with it, allowing it to flood his overly sensitive human body with adrenaline and reveling in the sound of blood pounding in his ears as his single heart throbbed with rage, "WHY DID YOU KEEP IT?!"

"BECAUSE THEY COULD COME BACK!!" Spittle flew from the taller Doctor's mouth as he shouted his fear across the room. His voice lowered to a terrified whisper as he continued, "The Time War created fractures all over the universe, there's no telling how many Daleks escaped into them; I found one already, hidden deep underground in a mad human's alien museum," his eyes glinted with a hint of madness, "I killed it."

Rose gasped and clutched the hand she held even tighter, remembering how their own version of that particular scenario had played out; she had pulled him back from the brink that day but of course this Doctor didn't have a Rose to stop him from submitting to his fear. She looked up at her own Doctor, expecting him to launch into a furious tirade as he always did when confronted with the threat or truth of needless violence, but then he opened his mouth and nearly floored her,

"Good man."

She stared at him, not bothering to hide the fact that her jaw was hanging slack in shock. He spoke without breaking the gaze he held the other man in, a strange tone to his voice, "They were ruthless and unfeeling, Rose;" his jaw tightened and he looked down at her, suddenly alien in his face, his stance, his rage, _everything_, "I slaughtered millions of them myself less than six months ago, or had you forgotten that?" He looked at the other Doctor again, whether to feel a kindred spirit or because he couldn't meet her eyes without shame she couldn't tell, but she suddenly felt sick and released the hand she had been holding as if it had burned her and had to resist wiping her palms off on her trouser legs. He glanced quickly at her from the corner of his eye and a muscle twitched in his jaw, his alien and his human sides in complete contradiction to each other; one side shied away from her compassion while the other side of him screamed for it, begged for her to heal him all over again as she had the last time he had been so broken that he could kill at the drop of a hat. His teeth grit tightly together as he ground out to her - as he had the first time he had changed - "Do you want to leave?" He hoped in vain for the quick refusal that he had been so grateful for the first time he had asked her, but this Rose was different to the Rose he had asked back then; she was older, wiser and a lot more savvy to the ways of the universe.

She fixed him with a probing gaze, finally giving in to the urge to wipe off her hands and murmured softly, "I'm not sure yet." then left them both to their madness, moving slowly and thoughtfully from the room, heading for a bedroom she had found similar to her old one on the other TARDIS; the one inhabited by a gentle, peace-loving explorer of time, not two insane Warlords.


	6. Rage, Passion, Destruction

Waking up with a headache is never fun - especially when there is no night of heavy drinking preceding it to make it worthwhile - and waking up from a fitful cried-yourself-to-sleep slumber tends to make said cranium splitter even worse; it was one of these skull bashers that dragged Rose from her sleep the next morning. Clambering gingerly from the bed she reached blindly for the blissfully fluffy dressing gown hanging on the back of the bedroom door. As if sensing her distress as she awoke the TARDIS had provided a glass of a water and some painkillers on the bedside table. Wincing as she threw the tablets and water back Rose projected her gratitude to the ship.

Schlepping from her temporary room she shuffled to the kitchen she had found the night before, grateful that the TARDIS had seen fit to leave it where it was. Ten minutes later with a belly full of tea and toast doing wonders for her constitution, she returned to her room, dressed in the same clothes she had worn the day before - she didn't want to intrude too far into this TARDIS' good graces just yet; following the previous nights confrontation she still wasn't sure whether she was staying or not - and headed for the control room.

What she found there had her snapping off a double take; her Doctor, version 10.2 looked exactly as he had before the meta-crisis that created him. Gone were the jumper and jeans he had taken to wearing with the battered old Converse he had arrived in this universe with and in their place was his favourite brown pinstriped suit. Even the overcoat was back and as he turned to grin at her, her heart sank: the old 'let's pretend we're not absolutely, positively, stark-raving mad about one another' smile had returned. She grit her teeth and balled her hands into angry fists behind her back where he couldn't see them and returned his patently false smile with one of her own.

"So, where to? We've been without intergalactic transportation for five months, three weeks, two days, fifteen hours, twelve minutes and forty five seconds, let's make our first trip in this universe a good one!"

Rose narrowed her eyes, not liking his old I'm-halfway-to-crazy-but-let's-ignore-that-and-have-a-banana tone in the new model. She looked around, "Where's the other Doctor?"

He turned to the controls, deftly dodging her gaze as he did so, "In his room I expect, why?"

A disbelieving eyebrow shot up on her forehead, "If someone flew _your_ TARDIS without telling you wouldn't you be upset?"

His nonchalance was not as easy as he would have her believe - she had become extremely adept at reading this Doctor, "Weeell yes, but I am him so it's okay."

Her anger finally peaked and she exploded, "BUT YOU'RE NOT!!" The volume of her outburst startled them both so she took a calming breath and started again, "When we first came here all that time ago it was you who told me outright that I was not Pete and Jackie's daughter, that I had no right charging into their lives like I belonged there."

He inflated himself, preparing for the fight he knew was coming, "This is different, Rose."

She rubbed her eyes, a weariness settling between her brows at his knowing ignorance of the situation, "No it isn't." He bristled and she approached him slowly, as one would approach a feral cat, and refused to allow the stinging in her eyes become tears when he flinched at the touch of her hand to his arm, "Doctor, this isn't your TARDIS, that isn't your suit, and this," she reached into his pocket and pulled out his sonic poiser, "Isn't a screwdriver." His gaze slid away from hers at the truth in her words so she took his face in her hands and returned his eyes to hers, no sign of a flinch in sight this time, "You're not the old Doctor and you're not _this_," she indicated the TARDIS, "Doctor. You're your own Doctor, my Doctor; you don't have the weight of the universe on your shoulders any more."

He tensed and, to Rose's dismay, took a distancing step backwards away from her. She went to follow but he froze her with a glare before erupting with the sort of anger she'd never seen from him before; the anger his counterpart had warned her about,

"You just don't get it do you, you stupid little ape? The universe weighs me down _because_ of me!" He spat, "I can change my face, change my clothes, fall in love, die and be reborn, settle down in a house with doors and carpets, I can even pretend to be normal and act like every moment away from the last remaining tie to my people doesn't tear me apart from the inside out, but none of that changes the fact that I am a killer. I committed genocide on a massive scale, Rose, not once but three times." He advanced on her and she, for the first time in as long as she could remember, backed away from him. She kept going until her back impacted gently against one of the coral struts and she could retreat no further; his eyes flashed and suddenly he had her pinned against the support, his arms holding hers down by her sides as he pressed the length of his body against hers.

The murmur that left his lips to whisper across hers was dark, dangerous; murderous, "Do you want me, Rose Tyler? Can you still feel what you felt knowing what I am? What I've done? What I could do again?"

Rose swallowed, her mind and her body in direct counterpoint to one another. The analytical part of her mind knew he was pushing her, testing her, seeing whether she could still withstand his darker side without taint now it had roared to the surface of his usually light, bouncy facade. For now she couldn't and he was right; in this heart-stopping instant she hated him for what he had done.

However, having been madly, hopelessly in love with him for so long, her body couldn't help but respond to him and a flash of desire burned across her nerve endings, pouring fire into her veins and into her hatred. The mixture of love and hate, of pleasure and pain had her snarling into his face even as her body writhed against his and she hissed, "You're a monster," then gasped as he pushed his arousal into her leg. Rage seared through her, scorching her from the inside as she undulated her hips against his and his eyes rolled back, a grunt of pleasure rupturing from his chest at the heated contact and he collapsed against her.

His face went to the crook of her neck and the hot tears she suddenly felt against her skin sobered her as effectively as a bucket of iced water as he started to tremble against her.

Freeing her arms from his now slack grip she wrapped him in a tight hug and lowered him to sit on the floor as his legs gave out. Gathering him close to her she rocked him as he sobbed against her and whimpered into her shoulder,

"Help me, Rose, Oh God, please help me."

* * *

**A/N: A short chapter but one I'm keen to get feedback from; the rapid change from conversation, to fire and brimstone, to Broken!Doctor is intentional. I think it reads okay but please please let me know if it didn't flow and you struggled to keep up.**


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